Teacup Full of Cherries

…from eating Chicago-style deep dish pizza with my tenderoni!

To honor this special occasion, 2 weeks ago we purchased our first set of luggage…together. It a very serious decision to make together, but after searching several stores we finally bought some lovely Samsonites. The clincher was the fact I wanted a carry-on bag. Bobby found really nice ones at Ross that he wanted, 2 large pieces that were a very reasonable price, but we were not finding any carry-on bags. But, lo, in one of those aisle baskets I found one peeking out. It was meant to be.

….yeah, I just realized I’m telling a story about luggage. Total yawnfest.

Anywhooo, we bought some awesome tags from Gama Go:

Super cute!

On to other happenings.

Two weeks ago the Christ Punchers were victorious at Team Trivia. Yes, we finally got our comeuppance: FIRST PLACE (aka $35 gift certificate to Rose & Crown). A week later, were back at the bottom of the barrel. C’est la vie.

Yesterday was payday, so Bobby & I went out and had some lovely grilled cheeses at the Roosevelt and then met our fellow Christ Puncher at The Lost Leaf. Despite the grilled cheese, this morning I was 0.6 pounds away from my short term goal of 15 pounds lost. Feels so good, I’m also getting my comeuppance! Then we had La Tolteca for dinner, so I’m sure I screwed the pooch with that one.

I bought some new clothes today, as well. At Buffalo Exchange I found a pair of shorts that came with SUSPENDERS! $7. I’m gonna look like a newsie! And also bought a dress online:

Drool.

Bobby & his sister are watching Harry Potter & the Something of Something, and I’m just doing the house work. Yeah, I’d rather wash clothes than see that movie!

No REALLY, is that Dave Coulier?

So. I’m listening to the Amelie Soundtrack right now, it so up & down. It has some slow & sad songs, upbeat & romantic songs, and this one rapid & pressured song. It best explains how I’m feeling lately. So far, that is the only thing I can articulate about my state. I don’t know what’s causing it. When I take a step back and look at what I have my life is seemingly perfect and only looking up from here.

Work has been, eh, at best. I won Employee of the Month which I really didn’t ever expect and never wanted either. Gosh. Today I could hear a lady say to one of the other girls about how what a crappy job the previous doctor did and that I’m not performing up to my standards either. I need my paperwork to be at 100% (yeah, like the other nurses before me were at 100) despite nursing appointments being at the lowest end of the totem unless it’s for a injection and it’s also my fault that patients didn’t have their labs drawn yearly because, apparently, I SHOULD TELL THE DOCTOR WHAT TO DO. F-ya’ll. Well, now I will make sure to enforce even 10 minute appointments where I check a weight & blood pressure. Yup, you guys can drive your butts out there, pick the patient up, and have them see me for 10 minutes, and then drive them back. Now I feel this huge sense of embarrassment and whatever especially with this “Employee of the Month” BS. But I know this is the easiest job I will find as a nurse, so I keep chugging along. It’s just been more difficult now that something in my brain has snapped and I am 110% more sensitive about everything. Just today I was getting medicine ready for a patient, and it was like the levy broke or something. Tears just rolling out & I couldn’t even stop it or see straight.

On top of work, my weight has been fluctuating and, or course, that is my main focus all day, every day. I feel like for all the work I’ve been putting in, not a lot has come out of it. And I get SO FOCUSED on it, and down I go. I know it drives Bobby nutso.

I’m unhappy with myself. Everything else it great. What a metaphor for my life. I feel like I’m not at 100%.

And though all of this Bobby has been as tough as he can be. I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with on a normal level, but add in me being down in the dumps consistently, I know it’s no fun for him. I wish he would realize it’s all internal and, as usual, all about me. Haha.

So, since I’ve been a butthead to him I want to make sure everyone, including him, knows he is the awesomest & bestest boy around. I love you Bobbykins. He’s the real McCoy. He loves me no matter what, always tells me so, and always tells me I’m beautiful (even though I don’t believe that one), always makes sure to laugh once I’m done with my angry tirades about stupid people, he hides the scale from me, and he makes me healthy din-dins to boot, and he is super cute especially when he showers JKJKJK

And in 16 days we will be on a plane together having the time of our lives and getting the vacation we sorely need and deserve. And once we are back, we will look into a new home for us & our little ones (Lilmeister and the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee). SIGH.

OK, depressing time is ova! Time to listen to some Jay-Z, mofos!!!