Teacup Full of Cherries

I’m sitting in bed, being all lazy, on a Tuesday morning? Why? Cause of this dude:

Whatever, I’ll take it, but next year let’s make it a MONDAY.

Anyway, I should be getting up right about now to get ready for my dentist appointment (which I have been fretting about for the fear of needing a full set of dentures) but I’m not. Know why? Because they pushed back my appointment, not once, but TWICE. So now it is 12:30, they tried to make it like 1:30, but I’m all HELLS NAW! I have a doctor’s appointment today as well. So just freakin’ clean my teeth, that’ all I really want. Buh, I don’t know about these guys. Now I’ll wait another 4 years to go back again.

I’ve been feeling down in the dumps lately, which is all par for the course. I don’t have much desire to do much or have fun, and I’m generally a pain in the neck to be around. A positive of this though is I have lost weight without working out and also have saved some money, which are the two things I worry about most when I’m in my “SPEND MONEY EAT EVERYTHING” phase, naturally.

I guess I’ll get up and get some coffee from Conspire. I was going to try and not eat or drink until my dentist appointment. I could still do that, then when I get to the doctor at 4 I’ll be fasting all day for lab work. NUT-UH. Those labs wont be drawn until Christmas.

I’m hoping for a little surprise when I get home.

At the end of every three months, there is an event that takes place that I have been working diligently for: time to use my Safeway PowerPump rewards that I have been earning! It’s really an exciting event because I end up getting atleast $1.20 off each gallon of gasoline. And that to me, my friends, it the BOMB. What also is the bomb is there are probably only 2 Safeway fueling stations in the valley, and I work a block away from one of them.

In other news, today is relatively boring because I have no scheduled patients today, but I AIN’T COMPLANIN’. It is also payday, so I decided WHAT THE HECK! I’ll buy myself and also my significant other a $5 tee shirt from Threadless.com! I always get emails from them, and tend to ignore them because I hate clothes ever since I gained some weight. But I looked at the email today, stating they are selling some shirts for $5. I needed a nice pick-me-up, so I splurged on a $5 shirt. I hope Bobby likes his, too!

In other news, my nephew was born last Wednesday and hes pretty cute ‘n junk. Just sayin’!

Only a couple more days until my midweek holiday (Tuesday). Exciting stuff.

Lovely VeeDub Rabbit, remember when you used to look like this? What have I done that makes you hate me so? I know I should wash you more often, but when I remember to do so, it rains. But I give you the higher priced gas. I clean the trash out of you every week. You’ve been toying with my emotions for so long, it’s been over a year since anything bad really happened to you, and now you do this. What gives?

OK, open letter to my car aside, here is my rendition of this Monday morning:

Wake up. Shower. Breakfast. Leave house. Drive to Conspire. See a car parked at the curb and think to myself “That car is parked far away from the curb, I wouldn’t want to do that.” Hit said curb, apparently. See VW hubcap go flying. Hear small explosion. See cloud of dust. See “Your tire pressure is too low” light flash. Start crying.

I panicked, then email Bobby. He came to my rescue, but unfortunately my car was on a slight slope in the concrete and needed to be moved to a surface that was flat before attempting to get the spare tire on. He starts the car and begins to drive slowly, when the tire states, “POP FIZZZZZZZzzzz,” which is tire speak for “I have popped and no longer have any tire pressure what-so-ever.”

So on a slope it stayed. He used the funny VW jack and was able to get the car up long enough to get the old, flat tire off. Then the jack gave up and the car fell to the ground. Not once, but twice. So we made a nice little indentation in the road by Conspire. Luckily, Bobby also has a VW with a funny jack, so using two funny VW jacks, he was able to get the car off the ground long enough to get the spare tire on. HOOOOOOORAY.

By now, it is 8:13am, and I am late for work. And I panic and cry. But we have a spare on, so all is right with the world.

…Except the spare is also flat.

So my car officially hates me. We take Bobby’s car to AutoZone and buy a can of Fix-a-Flat that worked long enough to get us to the gas station, fill ‘er up, and take me to work at 8:50am. I am now sitting at work, hungry, and $300 poorer, but with two new tires and a new rim and a new fear of driving again. Yaaah.

And I just cashed out my (tiny) 401k. Good timing.

Before leaving for lunch I saw a lovely young lady blow a snot rocket out the passenger side window of a parked car at work, and it inadvertently made me think to myself, “Maybe I should write a new entry…”

1. The Biggest Loser sucks 2 hours of my life every week now, and I feel a little guilty for eating ice cream while watching it. What I feel even worse about is I have spent 15 minutes at the gym all week. That’s pretty terrible, and will soon be auditioning for the next season. (I kid, I kid.)

2. Follow-up on the Cursive CD situation: I received the CD in the mail the other day (just the CD, nothing else to apologize for the terrible error) and decided to try and listen to it while driving to work yesterday. In it goes. The CD player takes its sweet time trying to read it, and promptly spits it back out. OH WHAT-EVER!

3. The much anticipated event of the week is only hours away: TRIVIA NIGHT.

4. And of course…..VIDEOS OF DOGS!

This morning has been filled will up’s & down’s, and it’s only 9:30am.

I began my morning slightly bummed when my alarm went off at 6:10am blaring “Karate” by Tenacious D. Like usual, I hit snooze. Then I felt it…my bladder was ready to explode.

“Dang,” I thought to myself. I usually hit snooze twice and turn off my alarm on the third try. This morning, however, my bladder only allowed me to hit snooze ONCE and turn my alarm off on the second try. Early to bed, early to rise, blah blah blah I suppose.

After primping myself, I prepared my usual breakfast of a double fiber english muffin with honey and a multivitamin and sat down in front of the tube. Switched it to one of the several MTV channels we have, and what do I see?

It’s Homer Simpson’s jukebox pick! This song is so terrible and the video is even worse. SCORE ONE FOR ME!

Then, before heading to work, I remembered I received the new Cursive CD in the mail yesterday! I didn’t open it up, so I figure, why not open it and listen to it on the way to work so I can review it here and let the whole wide world know my opinion of it. I removed the plastic covering, admired the digipak and the contents inside. Ohhh, a card to download bonus material. Ahhh, a fold-out poster of all the lyrics. Uhhh, NO ACTUAL CD IN THE CASE?!

That’s right, I was sent the CD case sans CD.

It’s been cleared up since, but what a bummer! Let’s see what the rest of the day has in store for TENA….

I was minding my own business, plucking my brows, and listening to the elephants that live upstairs walk around, when I heard, “MAROW.”

This was one of the cats, and it was one of their “I’m in distress” meows. That usually means they are stuck somewhere. But which one? And where?

When I woke up, I saw the aloof, yet motherly, Socrates in the living room. So I figured she somehow got trapped in the pantry when Bobby went to grab the dog leash. I decided to investigate. I checked in there, and no cat was found. Usually the sound of opening the panty summons both cats at an alarming speed, so when I turned around Socrates was there. But Beirut, the attention-seeking nose-biter, was nowhere to been seen.

The bathroom door was open, and she was not stuck in the toilet. I moved to the computer room, and she was not lounging in the chair like usual. 

“MARRROW.” 

Still distressing. I looked and the closet was closed. It normally is closed. But I opened it anyway. It was tough. Obviously something fell and made it difficult to pry open. But I managed, looked and saw nothing. Then as I was about to turn around, a black head popped out. I guess she got into the closet, knocked over several boxes of crap (which left the door almost closed), and upon trying to open the door, she completely shut the door. Considering Bobby went to bed around midnight, she was probably stuck in there for awhile. She didn’t relieve her bowels or nothing. What a trooper.

Then I went to Conspire and saw a cat pee on the wall.

You can read more about me in the “About Me” section (go figurrr), but here is a brief history.

I was born on a blustery December day in Chi-town with a lazy eye my parents didn’t notice until, at age 3, an uncle told them I had a lazy eye. I wore a pirate patch and made my siblings suffer with the use of a green plastic cling-on screen on the T.V.  I still have that lazy eye. I was swepted away to Arizona at age 7, right before losing my first tooth. It is from that point, I have toiled in the hellish spring-summer-fall’s Arizona is known for. My younger years were filled with playing with trolls and Polly Pockets. My adolescent years were filled with Green Day, black dyed hair, and social withdrawl (but really good grades, I must admit). I moonwalked through 5 years of college at Arizona State, 1 year as a Biology major who hated (and failed) Chemistry, and the other 4 as a Nursing major. After graduation, I worked the night shift at a cardiac ICU for about a year and a half, where I grew frazzled and got fat, but had the loving support of my dear Bobby to make me “dinner” when I got home in the morning and pick up some coffee for me on his way home & my way out.

I wormed away without a peep after being hired on the spot in a psychiatric clinic.

I am now 25, and I like to dress up my cats and fall asleep early. And no matter how cold it gets, I always order an iced mocha. I cannot drink anything hot. And I am just as frazzled and fat as before, but I joined a gym and no longer eat mac & cheese after 2 in the morning. I have terrible social anxiety and a fear of paper cuts.

Welcome to the abridged journey into my version of adulthood.

Hi. I speak fluent cat and I got hugged by a stranger at work today.